Yes, after much hullabaloo and abounding hysteria the 20 week ultrasound deduced that our child is of male gender. The hospital, for insurance purposes, cannot 100% guarantee that our baby is a boy but given the word of the technician and the concurrence of the midwife, who exclaimed that technicians don't usually offer an educated guess on gender unless they are nearly cocksure, we are fairly confident that our growing child is a dapper little man. This came as no surprise to me, as my gut was telling me boy for quite some time. Elizabeth, however, was on the fence. I find that women do not, and moreover cannot, rely on gut feelings. Perhaps they don't have them. Either way, its a boy and we couldn't be more ecstatic.
With the addition of another male around the home, I find myself in a new and precarious dilemma. With BellaRose, I was highly confident in my ability to parent her in the traditional doting father way. I shower her with kisses, cuddles, gifts and offer a playful manner unique to most fathers. Its rough, yet sensitive and always intimate. BellaRose has no personal space when it comes to me.
With a boy I am perplexed, somewhat, on the idea of how to be a father to him. I know that no matter what I do I am always his father but I wanna be that awesome dad--the kind that teaches him my all and instills manly confidence in him. I feel like I have so little time to bestow my sagely advice and know-how onto this young chap and I've got to start early. Furthermore, I want to be a modern dad too, and not limit my son to only socially "manly" endeavors in life. If he wants to dance then he can dance. If he wants to be an artist then so be it. I'm not gonna limit him to only being a firemen, lumberjack or professional athlete. On the same token, however, I want to also teach some of those macho, guy things that my dad taught me. Auto maintenance, playing catch, shaving, etc., are important things I want to do with my little boy. Is it possible to raise a child in a happy medium of masculine-feminine folkways? That's what I'm going for. Maybe something like 7o% macho, 30% effeminate. Is that a good ratio?
Lastly, I'm a bit unsure about my ability to be intimate with my son, on the count that I'm not really intimate with any male children I know. Sure, I love my nephews and cousins but I don't hold them and kiss them like I do BellaRose. I'm a little worried that I won't be close to my son like I am to BellaRose. Again, this is probably nothing. When he arrives I'm sure I'll feel a closeness to him like no other. I suppose I should look no further than my own relationship with my dad as Exhibit A to the likely relationship I'll have with my son, in which case I shouldn't worry. Just gets the mind thinkin', ya know, having the knowledge that soon I'll have a son--a miniature version of me.
This is probably all sounding like nonsense. I'm simply over-thinking it. Most likely my child will grow up perfectly normal, with no lack of masculine identity and a strong and loving relationship with his parents. That's what we all hope for, right?
I'll keep you all posted. Lizzie is having another ultrasound in a few weeks. They couldn't get a good picture of the baby's lower spine, on the count her wouldn't roll over. He just simply burried his head into mom's womb and practiced his Tai Bo on the other side of her tummy, kicking away his frustrations like baby rabbit on speed. I blame this on the Starbucks we had just before our appointment, albeit it did work in making him more active. Anyways, I'll let you know how that one goes and maybe more evidence will come to light verifying the already concluded gender of Baby Davis 2.0--a boy.
Later all and have a pleasant October.
-Michael
P.S. I'll be 28 in not but a fortnight, yikes!
